Jimmy Pappas

What I Learned in Vietnam

That it’s always best to avoid hand-to-hand combat.
That the black market is a great place to go shopping.
That a flush toilet deserves to be called a throne.
That tear gas has earned its name.
That rats can grow to the size of a small dog.
That some soldiers get their kicks by taking pictures of mutilated bodies.
That marijuana can be laced with opium to make it addictive.
That morphine users on the street keep a dog nearby for serum.
That prostitutes can be just as worthy of love as any other person.
That it’s always nice to be called Number One.
That bigotry exists everywhere in the world.
That you should always accept food from someone who can’t afford to give it to you.
That chopsticks are used to push rice into your mouth.
That human beings get swept away by forces beyond their control.
That we must keep relearning how people are always the same, only their culture is different.
That, in general, soldiers on all sides try to do their job right.
That, in general, civilians go to a war zone to make money.
That cigarette, beer, and weapons manufacturers make a fortune on war.
That wars must be separated from the soldiers who fight them.
That men fight in a war because they love it.
That every father is proud of his son going off to war.
That soldiers who return home from a war zone suffer from terminal ennui.
That human beings can live through the most devastating of injuries.
That saving the life of every soldier wounded in combat may not be the best idea.
That only a small percentage of personnel involved in a war are combat soldiers.
That war goes unnoticed without cameras to film it.
That freedom is an illusion I never want to live without.
That once you enter a war, it will never leave you.

Jimmy Pappas won the Rattle Chapbook Contest with Falling off the Empire State Building and the Rattle Readers Choice Award for “Bobby’s Story.” His nominations include two for the Pushcart Prize, one for the Best of the Net, and two for a Touchstone award. He moderates a weekly, themed Zoom event called “A Conversation with Jimmy and Friends.”

Jimmy Pappas

Crazy John

We called him Crazy John
because his epileptic
seizures caused his eyes
to roll in his head
as he moaned
with clenched teeth.

At an assembly once,
the teacher made me
sit by him so we could
fill in every seat.

In the middle of a speech
by the principal,
he had a seizure
and drooled on me.

The rest of the day,
I laughed about how
Crazy John
gobbed on my pants.

Later that evening,
while I was walking with
my friends, he greeted me
with a rotten-toothed smile
as if he were my best buddy.

I watched him walk
into the front door
of an apartment building
we used to call
the Puerto Rican ghetto.

He opened the door
by the window
that all year long had
one red Christmas bulb,
an open invitation
to all takers.

Jimmy Pappas served in Vietnam during the war training South Vietnamese soldiers by teaching them English so they could work with American helicopter pilots. He retired from teaching at Somersworth High School in New Hampshire where he created the greatest accomplishment of his life: a popular philosophy class.  Jimmy Pappas won the Rattle Chapbook Contest with Falling off the Empire State Building, won the Rattle Readers Choice Award for “Bobby’s Story,” and was nominated for a Pushcart Prize by Rattle for “The Gray Man.” He now moderates a weekly themed Zoom event called “A Conversation with Jimmy and Friends” that encourages audience participation.

Jimmy Pappas

Saigon Tears

Tear gas drove my friend and me
into an isolated area of Saigon.

We passed through gates
where South Vietnamese
guards urged caution.

Half blinded by the fumes,
we sought refuge in a small hotel
where we washed out our eyes.

Long past curfew,
we decided to stay for the night.

A man came into our room
with a line of young women
and asked us each to pick one.

Their eyes looked down.
The weight of countless men
fucking them like killing chickens
had turned them into things.

Laughing that he
beat me to her,
my friend made his choice
of the prettiest one.
His loud groans would end
in an even louder sleep.

I made my choice
of the saddest one.
My quiet voice would
be a pathetic attempt
to soothe her pain.

I wanted her life to end
with me holding her.
I wanted to take her away
before the man came back
for her the next morning.
I wanted to free her from this life
that stole her humanity.

Instead
I cradled her in my arms
to protect her from
the rampaging engine
of suffering roaring
down at her,
while my tears
dripped down her back
like holy water
spilled over an altar
to a godless world.

Jimmy Pappas served in Vietnam during the war training South Vietnamese soldiers by teaching them English so they could work with American helicopter pilots. He retired from teaching at Somersworth High School in New Hampshire where he created the greatest accomplishment of his life: a popular philosophy class.  Jimmy Pappas won the Rattle Chapbook Contest with Falling off the Empire State Building, won the Rattle Readers Choice Award for “Bobby’s Story,” and was nominated for a Pushcart Prize by Rattle for “The Gray Man.” He now moderates a weekly themed Zoom event called “A Conversation with Jimmy and Friends” that encourages audience participation.